"Homosexuality, Lesbianism, these bodily pervesions...those walls must come down. We're setting the standard...we're setting the mark for another generation. We will not tolerate what you set as normal. We will not tolerate what you say we should just make peace with. No! No! No!"

~fr. Israel & New Breed's latest album "A Deeper Level"

So you guys know that Im like going thru this huge spiritual awakening, right. Well, yeah. Gods always lived in my spirit, ive been saved for quite some time, but im really beginning to composition myself for the fullness of Gods profoundness. Anywho, i started buying all these gospel cds, not to seem like im this changed, bible-fied Christian overnight, but because i was compelled to and i felt like thats what i wanted to hear. i not gon lie, like i said im not that changed, i still get down with my Maxwell soul sessions and Leela James grooves...music is music to me, if its good...the shit is good. But what im having an issue with is the community of Christian. All i gotta say is "they make me sick." Its like the very thing you try to stray away from in society--- negativity, ostrasization, deceit, stigmas---its the same shit you fall right back into when you try to surrender yourself to something greater than you, and greater than all the
other bullshit in this world. Like nothing ever gets right...a damned if you do, a damned if you dont type situation. Im tired of everytime i turn on one of these cds theyre talking about overcoming homosexuality, lesbianism, and all this other supposed "fire pit" bound crap. You know, its this type of behavior that make those who really love God and hold sacred to their belief system, turn away and negate that which is sometimes their only space for refuge, you know what i mean. Some of these churches are like damn cults, and really aint got nothin to do with the realness and fundamentals of what being a Christian or any belief is all about. Personally im not even all about the religious aspects involved, and ive always been about principles before governance. And even though im usually able to sustain my position with God, sometimes its hard cause all you get is a consistency of people speaking out against everything that keeps you afloat...the hate they spit, the things they do really do hurt, and at times its so frustrating and confusing because you dont know where to turn, or whom or what to believe. But i am what i am, and im not ever changing something thats proves so natural to me; im not about to "fix" myself to please nobody cause when all is said and done, im still inflicted with the same wounds and circumstances i was before. Im not this way for nothing...i wouldnt feel so passionate it, if it was not mine to own. I shook the reverend of my church's hand the other day on his meet and greet after church, and it was nothing...just a shake and keep it movin. But it was his stare, almost a glare or a scowl, that really set me back. Like he was reading me, and knew something about me that the other hundrer in the congregation didnt...i felt almost naked, exposed even. It...something was just wrong on so many levels, and it didnt sit well with me. I remembered why i had left this church in the first place. But to be read and sized in God House is just a feeling i really dont appreciate and furthermore completely uncomfortale with. I feel so unwanted. So i wonder what do other bloggers feel about church, the sub society that has been created within them, and the experiences you might have had dealing with acceptance or the lack thereof?