Monday, October 08, 2007

I wish I'd never come back here
'cause the pain I left
just rang me up, said 'Wassup'
replagued my soul
Then said to me 'Welcome Back'
I wish I'd never come back here
'cause every night when I lay my body down to sleep
I rest in a river
a river of my own blood, my own sweat
but mostly my own tears
from the horrid days and dreaded nights
when you'd beat my mind, kill my spirit
and burn every dream I had
'til all was left was but a hole
I wish I'd never come back here
to relive the murder you committed to my heart
you raped my mind
assaulted my thoughts
shoved me down back to dirt
then spat me shame
never allowing me my strength to regain
I wish I'd never come back here
because I'm a coward for not blaming you
for failing me in my youth
cursing me as a man
disillusioned by the reality that I am but what I am
and whether you love me or not
God is my Man
holding me tight in every night
whispering to me those things that you refuse
I wish I'd never come back here
but here I am
standing in this room that burns my flesh
throbbing in my brain
feeling prisoner to this place I know as home

10 comments:

Chameleon said...

Boy...you betta stop it!

I know that place too well. However, sometimes in life we must revisit the scene of the crime to solve the murder. You're stronger than you know you are.

Ailed LittleKnight said...

Listen to chameleon, you better! You all are gonna bring the poet out in me!

WhozHe said...

Simply powerful!! It reminded me of an old relationship with an abusive lover, a homphobic father, and an intolerant church pastor. Well done. Keep that one for publication.

HisLoveCoversMe said...

Man,
This is po-wer-ful! You had me almost in tears. You nailed it! This reminds me of the abuse I took from some of my church members when I released my book.

Excellent man. Excellent.

Dayne Avery said...

Beautiful

SoFaReal said...

I appreciate the words of encouragement and kudos from you guys...its an uphill battle, but my pistols are still burnin hot...bang. bang.

Naijadude said...

Nice ..but one thing you probably know and should remember is that you are stronger than you think, getting it all out is just a way to forge ahead!

Troy N. said...

revealing

Soldier said...

Damn....
You're actually the higher man in this situation... i hope you see that. You're the one who gets to build strength from it, you're the one who gets to understand how huge the consequences of actions can be others, the one who knows what's innocence, the one who will be a better person,... it hurts now... but tomorrow, when the wounds are healed, you'll be an iron man.

the~enigma said...

Man, that poem is powerful. However, like everyone else said you are strong and being able to express yaself makes you stronger and having positive people and comments should add to that. Yo, the poem makes me think of many things of my life and like I wrote about whether I should go home for the holidays......maybe I shouldn't cause I don't want to be sitting in "the room".